CONFUSED

I put myself out there willing to let someone in to be here to support and comfort me. All I feel was just like everytime else I'm a piece of ass. He had me fooled by his charm not pushing me into anything just so his web could consumed me and the need for love let me act dumb. Now I feel more lonely then ever. I WANT MY MOM I NEED HER AND SHE'S GONE WHO DO I TURN TO? I will never be the same. I just want to crawl in a hole and die.

UNSURE

I remember the day I choose not to date to be single and let my heart mead from my mom....But everyday it gets harder to be so lonely....I am ready to make myself whole again....I have plans to get my school done a become a CNA but what is wrong wit having someone to share it wit.....I just want to come home to that special someone and knw that they are there for me to love and support me and help me make my dreams come true....But the problem is I am very picky and I dont just want some ass that just wants one thing....I want it all 

Forgiveness

I was put to the test and I think I may have failed. I always remember what they say about forgiveness but I am having a hard time with that. I look to the Lord and ask what should  I do but still I struggle with it. I am hurt by not being able to move pass what has been done and what it did to me. I am still so lost without my mom and I know she would be kicking my butt if she was here but she was the only one I could talk to and knw i am not being judge even if I was in the wrong. Its just crazy we are in our 20s and 30s and we act like we are in High School. Y

Lost and Confused

Everyone knws that when I got my DUI I made a promise to my mom that I would never drink again and when she passed that was a bigger sign that I needed to stop doing it. Last night I went to a friend's house and there was this bottle there and I swear it was talking to me and when I said I need to get away from it a jerk said just drink it who the f*** cares why you stopped drinking. At that point instead of knocking him out I left. Everyday I want to pick up a bottle and lose myself in it and not feel the pain anymore. I dont sleep anymore and all I do is sit here and do everything a wife would do. I am so tired and confused and I dont knw where to go I given it to GOD but I still feel the weigh of my world on my shoulders. I need help I need my family to see how I am hurting and want to help. I feel like the BIGGEST FAILURE in the world

HONOR AND RESPECT

Today is the day to HONOR and RESPECT the MEN AND WOMEN WHO HAVE FOUGHT AND STILL ARE FOR US TO SLEEP SAFE IN OUR BED. I'M SO GRATEFUL THAT MY DAD, UNCLE JIM, MY BROTHER, AND ALL FRIENDS THAT THEY WERE WILLING TO GIVE THEIR LIVES TO PROTECTED US SO TODAY AND EVERY DAY GIVE HONOR AND RESPECT AND THANK THEM FOR WHAT THEY DID FOR US.  

Hurting

As soon as I started to heal and pick up to move on with my life MOM'S birthday come up and slapped me in the face and now all I feel is pain. My best friend is gone and she was the only one that EVER LOVED ME. All I've heard is be strong for dad but who's going to be strong for me. I need my family more then ever and I've never felt so alone. Why can't I be ok? My world is crashing down on me and I can't turn to anybody. God please help me tho all these trials I can't do this anymore. I am hurting so much and am scared to show my feelings. 

BATTLEFIELD

As  l listen to the song "BATTLEFIELD" talking why does love always have to feel like a battlefield. But really isn't it the people in the relationship who really making it hard. Whatever the problem is cheating, spending too much money or not giving space you can either work it out or dwell. I learn from my parents who r working on 34 yrs and the only problem they have is they are both talking but not listening to each other. See I have always to been the one that had to be strong and keep them from yelling at each other but unless they go to GOD with their problems I cant help. As their baby girl (ask my brother's) I've been here tho it all. And there are just somethings you can't  and even when it hurts all you can do is pray that GOD will bring them back to each other. But being a Card I can say is that I have a great relationship to look at that give me FAITH that when I'm ready GOD will bring it to me. I am looking for LOVE and sometimes forget that very important I'm LOVED BY THE GREATEST MAN GOD