UNSURE

I remember the day I choose not to date to be single and let my heart mead from my mom....But everyday it gets harder to be so lonely....I am ready to make myself whole again....I have plans to get my school done a become a CNA but what is wrong wit having someone to share it wit.....I just want to come home to that special someone and knw that they are there for me to love and support me and help me make my dreams come true....But the problem is I am very picky and I dont just want some ass that just wants one thing....I want it all 

Forgiveness

I was put to the test and I think I may have failed. I always remember what they say about forgiveness but I am having a hard time with that. I look to the Lord and ask what should  I do but still I struggle with it. I am hurt by not being able to move pass what has been done and what it did to me. I am still so lost without my mom and I know she would be kicking my butt if she was here but she was the only one I could talk to and knw i am not being judge even if I was in the wrong. Its just crazy we are in our 20s and 30s and we act like we are in High School. Y

Lost and Confused

Everyone knws that when I got my DUI I made a promise to my mom that I would never drink again and when she passed that was a bigger sign that I needed to stop doing it. Last night I went to a friend's house and there was this bottle there and I swear it was talking to me and when I said I need to get away from it a jerk said just drink it who the f*** cares why you stopped drinking. At that point instead of knocking him out I left. Everyday I want to pick up a bottle and lose myself in it and not feel the pain anymore. I dont sleep anymore and all I do is sit here and do everything a wife would do. I am so tired and confused and I dont knw where to go I given it to GOD but I still feel the weigh of my world on my shoulders. I need help I need my family to see how I am hurting and want to help. I feel like the BIGGEST FAILURE in the world